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Hi. I am 22 years old, and i don't often find myself a target of bullying any more, but i am scarred very deeply by the cruelty and ostracism that followed me from grade school up until highschool. I think that even though it's all over, it still affects me today.

I'm almost completely alone, I don't trust anyone, and i can't seem to connect with anyone. I can't maintain any sort of interpersonal relationship, either. At times i just feel hateful and resentful of the world around me. I want to heal, but i don't even know where to start.

My life is a mess and i am a mess. I still cry. I am absolutely sure that the key to a better life is picking up the pieces of my shattered psyche. I just hope we can talk about recovery and self-discovery...and make progress.

peace,
ellen

Current Mood:
sad sad
Current Music:
system of a down
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[User Picture]
On March 4th, 2006 02:29 am (UTC), poetic_heartz commented:
I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I'm 21 and I haven't been bullied for about four years, yet it still affects me. To be perfectly honest I thought I was over it, but now my insecurities and scars are affecting the relationship I have with my boyfriend.

I think the main thing to give yourself is time. You also need to own what you are feeling and not to feel bad about crying - give yourself permission to cry.

:)
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